Happy New Year 09 <3
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
04:41
You may ignore this if you want to. I apologise if this post makes you feel uncomfortable. You can blame me for posting these feelings up but you can never stop me from blogging. Just as I respect your personal views, I hope for my feelings to be accepted equally as well. You don’t have to acknowledge my feelings neither do you have to feel sorry for me, just your respect and understanding of me having to put this up here is entirely appreciated.
It’s normal to be judged by people you know whether or not you’re close to them. At the same time, failing a relationship with someone can be miserable especially when that person means so much more than just love. Alhamdulillah, I’ve been able to go through these phases with serenity despite my weaknesses. No, I’m not saying that I am able to face it with complete ease and comfort; just- it has been ‘manageable’. I have to admit, almost everything was hard. He wasn’t my first but this time it’s harder than before. Our four-year relationship came to an end last May without a proper reason. However, all the confusions were well-settled between us and need no further explanation from who ever. What happened between us stays between us and are better kept just between us. There is nothing left to argue. He now lives a happy life he deserves and I do not have anything against that. We both had our best years together and nothing can change our past! Therefore comparing what he/I has/have now with what we used to have before is clearly inappropriate.
As I have said in some of my previous posts, missing him is just part of my feelings. Despite me wanting him close and missing him terribly, never have I any intentions or whatsoever to interfere in his current relationship. There is no need for him to know how much I still miss him and he doesn’t have to know that this blog exists. I see it as normal perhaps when you miss someone who was once a part of your everyday life. What is there to change when it already involves feelings? Again, regardless of these feelings, I will never jeopardise my future and dignity by fighting over someone. I believe in Allah. We have dreams, we have plans but only Allah knows what is best for us. If he answers our prayers, he’s increasing our faith and if he doesn’t, he has better plans for us. “Depressed” may be me but I’m definitely not a fool. I cannot pretend not missing him but will always try my best to not think of him that often. InsyaAllah.
Yes, we’re friends. No, we won’t mess each other's happiness. No, I won’t forget yesterday. Yes, he deserves a life he wants and so do I. :)
To wrap my 1429/2008 up and welcome 1430/2009,
I am grateful to Allah for everything he has granted despite this year being a very tough year for me. Alhamdulillah, I have managed to live my everyday life; with a strong feeling of continuity believing there are many more to come, believing both the positives and negatives come from Allah the almighty, taking his tests with patience and thankful for all the blessings he showered. To family and friends, thank you for always being there throughout the good and bad times.
Selamat Menyambut Ma’al Hijrah 1430 and Happy New Year 2009!
May we all be blessed with never ending happiness, prosperity, good health and a heart full of good deeds. Amin.xo
Happy New Year you ;) Many more years to come! =D